Monday, January 30, 2006

Respite Changes Things

Respite of any form causes change. In this case, it has caused my foster son to regress a little, my foster to adopt daughter to whine and cling, and my other foster daughter herself. *lol*

If I had it to do all over again, I'd stick Macie at my parents' house and thumb my nose at my caseworker. She pretty much pushed me to allow Macie to spend the night with one of her birth siblings for the night. It was JUST one night. Well according to the foster mother, Macie did wonderfully and was a joy to be around. But when I picked her up she was very quiet and withdrawn. She wouldn't come to ME when I held out my arms, but wanted my husband. (not a bad thing I guess, but strange.) She was very whiney and cried at the drop of a hat it seemed. It's been two days now since we've been home and she's still not back to herself. :(

B my foster son is even worse. He is rocking much more than usual. He has regressed to peeing on the toilet seat or in his pants, and is extremely whiney as well. He does nothing but whine and tattle on the other kids, or sit in the chair and rock himself. Now B has stayed in respite care before, and he's been ok. Oh sure we have a few issues to deal with, but this time seemed to bother him more than usual. (Oh and Macie and the B stayed in different foster homes for the night.) Or maybe I'm just more sensitive right now?

D seemed to thrive in the foster home. And why shouldn't she? She had 100% of the attention. They held her, sat with her, played with her, interacted with her; and I doubt very seriously that she got in trouble over there. She's such a cute kid and all. And she IS a cute kid... She just needs more attention than I can give her in the day! So every day she is asking me how long until she has a family visit, or when she gets to go back to the other foster family to visit.

Now I personally LOVED the respite day! It really allowed me to relax and enjoy Jenna's gymnastics meet. After the meet we even had enough time to come home, sit on the couch, and watch a movie together! (That would be me and Matt... Jenna went with a friend, and Conner was at grandma's house spending the night.) It was nice to just cuddle and not have to worry about the kids! And honestly Matt and I have only had that two or three times since we started fostering these children.

But to see the changes in my kids...well I know they'll get back to normal soon. They have to right? I just don't like leaving my children with strangers - even if they ARE other foster parents. You just never know what goes on behind the closed doors.

Will I use respite again? Yes, more than likely for B,D, and M. But not for Macie. She's just too little to go to strangers. Since we're adopting Macie she can just stay in the family. Will I use the same respite families we used this past weekend? No I won't. I just don't like the changes in the kids, and I know from past experiences that the more fun the kids have at the respite home, the better their behavior here.


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