Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Wow!! What a Day!

Well let me just start by apologizing for not posting yesterday about court. It was a GOOD court day all around. Here are the highlights.

At the sibling group court hearing (B, D, and M). Judge ordered them to remain in my care until at least August, but the criminal court trial won't begin against their mother until sometime in September; so we aren't expecting any major changes to occur in their case until after that time. We DID get overnight visits for the great grandparents every other weekend!! I count this as a positive because they really love these kids and these kids need to have them in their lives!

Now on to my foster son C. His birth mother surprised me yet again. She actually told me, her lawyer, and my case worker that she wants to terminate her rights, and she wants MY family to adopt C. She said she only asks that we allow her to continue to be a part of his life in some way and let him grow up knowing his brothers and sisters!!!!!!! Talk about a shocker! Now this IS the birth mother we're talking about, so at any time her mood could change and she could not follow through. But my caseworker thinks she really is going to allow us to adopt him.

Here is my concern though. I don't want her to have him WITHOUT me around once he is adopted. I don't want him to visit her every single week like he is now. I'd rather just see her once every few months, or send pictures or something. I think it will completely confuse him to continue to see his birth mother flitter in and out of his life. You know what I mean?

So we have to go back to court for C in two weeks (on a Monday). At that time we're expecting the birth mom to tell the judge that she wants to terminate her rights. She'll sign the paperwork and then we'll contact our lawyer and start the adoption process.

PLEASE pray that she follows through and allows us to adopt him. He's ALWAYS been our little boy, even that year when he was living with his birth mom (and all her friends and aquaintances)

So that's the update!!


At 9:46 AM, Blogger Mommykendra said...

Great news Anna!!!

At 2:43 PM, Blogger FosterMommy said...

what a great court day!
I'm hoping the birth-mom sticks it out and goes through with the surrender. Seems like she knows that it's what's best for this little boy.
I assume you have a lawyer already? If not, get a good one who has experience with foster-to-adopt cases. They'll help you put together an open adoption agreement with the mom. One that you both can live with.

I think it's very important not to tie down the child to being required to visit with *anyone* on a regular basis for the rest of their lives. You're right, it could be confusing to the child to see his mom once a week. To me, the perfect open adoption is regular letters and pictures (maybe every other month or twice a year when they're older) and the birth parents would have the right to *request* visists.
It would be up to the parents (us) to decide (with the child) if they happen. For a younger child, I see no reason not to allow the birth parents to see them a couple times a year, but an older child might not want to and I wouldn't force the issue. Especially if the birth parents aren't stable and might be on/off drugs, I wouldn't expose my child to that.

Anyway, congratulations and I hope things go the best way for that little boy!


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