Frustrated and Shouldn't Be...

Honestly I know why this happened, I understand why they act this way, and I know it isn't going to change...but it's still frustrating as all get out!

Yesterday my sibling group of three had an all day (12 hour) visit with their great grandparents. Well this visit grandma had called me to see if I would let Jenna tag along. Apparently they were going to go swimming at her son's house, let the kids possibly ride the horses, and have a bonfire that evening.

I have to tell you, even though I love these people and trust them enough to send my daughter along, I was VERY hesitant to let her go with them for 12 hours. Not because of them, but because of M - the nine year old. She is super jealous and her and Jenna fight like sisters, just bickering back and forth and trying to 1up each other... So I tried my hardest to talk Jenna out of going on the visit, but she was so excited to be invited that I couldn't NOT let her go, know whatI mean?

So off they went with my daughter along. Fast forward 12 hours. Great grandma calls me to tell me the kids are going for ice cream and would be at the drop off location shortly. The ice cream place is less than 10 minutes from my house... An HOUR and a half later they actually show up. I was just about to call my caseworker to report them missing, thinking all KINDS of nasty senerios in my mind...

When the kids got in the car, I could hear them arguing and really nastily talking to each other. Grandma was standing outside and overheard it as well. She shook her head and asked me if they act like this all the time. And I said, yes, they fight just like sisters, and she said they about drove her batty, and that she had to leave the room for a time out once because they were at it so much.

Talk about feeling like a fool. Here my daughter did NOT show her best side at someone else's house! Well later when I got her home I found out that she did NOT have fun at all. That M wouldn't let her talk to any of the cousins, and that everytime someone would go to play with Jenna that M would run and get in front of them and start talking to the person instead...
You know, normal jealousy stuff. And I do understand that it's because they don't get to see their grandparents as much as they'd like. And I know it's the only thing that is REALLY theirs...I know this... BUT... MY daughter has to share all her toys, MY daughter has to share all her friends, MY daughter has to share all her grandparents and relatives, MY daughter has be behave...

But in hindsight I knew it was going to be like this...and I knew that I was going to be upset with the oldest foster kid. And I am. *grr* It's just so frustrating.

Oh well, the joys of foster parenting I guess.