It's amazing how just getting away for one entire day without children can make my entire attitude change. Yesterday my dad and I went to the Brickyard 400 Nascar race. My wonderful, loving, sweet, caring, and absolutely insane husband kept the children so I could have a day away.
Now don't get me wrong, he didn't have all seven of mine (the sibling group of three B,D,M were on a visit until 9 pm), but he picked up my two younger brothers, and my 2 year old neice and 5 year old nephew!! He was supposed to drop the brothers and the other two off at my mom's house; but he chose to keep them with him here at the house to play. (In other words, he was too lazy to load all the kids in the car and drive 30 minutes to my mom's house to drop them off).
But back to me. For several weeks I've been having feelings of being a bad mother, bad wife, bad person in general. I was going through some major "poor me" attitudes. I was snapping at everyone around me and just wanted to be left alone. I felt like I was giving every single scrap of myself to everyone and not getting anything replenished... Horrible feeling I know, and I'm sorry I felt that way. In all honesty, I was actually to the point of wanting to quit fostering because I knew I wasn't giving ANYONE the attention they needed - nor did I really have any desire too...
It didn't help that I was running non-stop for my children. If we weren't at gymnastics, we were at choir. If we weren't at choir we were at t-ball, if we weren't at t-ball we were at soccer info meetings, if we weren't that soccer we were at doctor or therapy appointments. If not at therapy, you could find us on foster family visits (pick up and drop offs). It was nuts...and as I looked at my calendar, I could tell it's not going to get any better until after October 21st.
So with all these thoughts in my head, I just needed to get away. But it's amazing to me just how refreshed I DO feel today. I feel like actually taking all seven children to the park *gasp* by myself *faint* and tackling the indian trails *picking up jaw from the floor*.
Thanks to the local radio station, my dad, and my husband I feel like I can take on the world again. And it's a good thing because here is our schedule starting the third week of August...
Oh and this isn't including my Under 6 soccer practices, or my Under 12 girls soccer practices (we haven't gotten their schedule yet)...
* Mondays - Children's Choir (4:30-6)
* Tuesdays - Foster Family Visit (4:30-5:30), Children's Choir (4:30-6), Gymnastics (6:15-8:15)
* Wednesday - Foster Family Visit (4:30-6:30), Gymnastics(6:15-8:15)
* Thursday - Foster Family Visit (11:00-5), Soccer Practice (5:00-6), Gymnastics (6:30-7:30)
* Friday - Gymnastics (4-6:30)
* Saturday - Gymnastics Meets (twice a month) 3 Soccer Games (Times vary from 8 am to 7 pm), Foster Family Visit (depending on soccer games, they might carry visits over to Sundays) (9:00-9 pm)
* Sunday - Hopefully nothing but possibly a Foster Family Visit if games last too long on Saturday
Now do you understand why I was losing it? I'll have absolutely no time to myself because after the activities for five children we'll still have to tackle homework, baths, dinner, and family time. I'm just so thankful I got a day away before the craziness turns full force.