Monday, March 27, 2006

Mommy Anyone?

Today my foster son C had his first visit with his mother since she placed him in foster care three weeks ago. He was hesitant to go to her at first, and then started yelling and crying "Don't leave me, don't leave me mommy!" to Me.

Yes he was calling me Mommy in front of his biological mommy. And he wanted nothing to do with her. He was reaching out to me and just not a happy guy. You'd think with it only being three weeks that he'd still remember her...but then again, maybe that's why he was reaching for me?

His mom was near tears and said she didn't wouldn't force him to go with her if he didn't want too; but her boyfriend was in the back telling her to just get in the van, and not talk like that. Seems to me like boyfriend wants C back with his mom.

So he had his visit and afterwards I hear from the caseworker that the mother wants visits THREE TIMES a week!!!! She said it's because he's already forgetting about her. Well the caseworker put her foot down and said no, one day a week for a few more hours. But mom was all upset and yelling and screaming at the worker.

She was really upset because she wanted my phone number and the DFC worker wouldn't give it to her. She said that to do that would mean the mom could bipass the DFC and court and just call me when she wanted to see her son.

So now I wonder how long I'll have C in my home. It seems like mom is no longer looking at terminating her rights... Guess I'll just wait and see. But I do know one thing. I'll enjoy having my little C for as long as I have him...and if he goes home, well... I'll still be praying for him.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Rude Awakening

Just when we thought we had the house back to normal, my son had to go and mess it up! B only woke up once last night with nightmares, and my husband and I were really excited to get a little sleep.

Unfortunately, my son Conner had other ideas. He woke up twice last night to play, and on the second time (at 5 am) he was jumping on his bunkbed. Did I mention that he sleep on the top bunk? So he's having a good ol' time rolling around on his bed and jumping around, but he forgot that he had railings on the sides of his bed.

His nose connected with the railing and he received a huge gash that spanned the width of his nose! It honestly goes from one eye to the other eye! Blood was everywhere and he was screaming and crying out. We honestly thought that he had a nightmare and were pretty mean when we told him to be quiet before he woke the others.

It wasn't until my husband took him to the bathroom (the only way to ever get him to quiet down when he wakes up in the night...somehow going potty seems to help). Anyways, Matt took him to the bathroom and realized they dripped blood everywhere. What a shock at 5 am!

We decide not to take him to the ER because the blood finally clots and Matt decides it's too dangerous to allow Conner to go back to sleep! So they stay up and watch Sonic cartoons together.

Fast forward to 8 am... I'm trying to get the older kids out the door, get the younger kids dressed, and get started on our appointments for the day. I hand Conner his shirt and realizes that when he puts it on, he starts the nose bleeding again. *ugh*

So off we go to the doctor to make sure he 100% doesn't need stitches. Doctor informs us that it's too shallow for stiches, but to wide to do nothing. He tells us that Conner will have a nasty scar, and the size of it will depend on whether or not Conner will leave on the special bandaids...

Let me just say that Conner was NOT impressed with the cleaning of the wound OR the bandaids that pull his skin back together. He's been super whiney all day. But then again, the kids been awake since at LEAST 5 am! Hopefully this will break him of jumping on the bed!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Praise God!

Oh my gosh!! God is so good! I just got off the phone with my caseworker. Apparently B's biological father called to say that after hearing how badly B was reacting to the upcoming visit, that he was cancelling the overnight!!

I'm just in shock! My opinion of this man has changed for the better for putting B's needs before his own. I'm just praying that knowing he isn't going to have to spend the night without his sisters will help B overcome this anxiety causing him to act this way...

Scary Thoughts

My mind is racing right now. I was just informed by my caseworker that C's mother has contacted them. After three weeks of no contact at all, she finally wants a visit with her son. Honestly that in itself doesn't bother me too much - the fact that she wants to see him. It lets me know she does care about him, you know?

But what bothers me is that since she voluntarily placed him in foster care, she is allowed to have him for two hour unsupervised visits. What if she runs off with him? Since she placed him in care, she has that right. What if she gets him for the two hours and realizes she wants him back? All she has to do is tell the caseworker that C no longer needs assistance and he's hers again.

It's all very scary. I've loved this little boy since he was seven months old. Yes he spent 14 months out of my home and with his relatives and mother's friends; but he's still my little boy. I would adopt him in a heartbeat if mom gives up her rights.

Just pray that she's content to just visit with him and not have him back in her home for good.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

No Good News

Nothing good to tell you all about B. He's still rocking violently, he's still not talking to us. He still wants to just lay in the floor or be on his hands and knees rocking.

He went to school today and the director called me. Apparently B was drooling (spitting) more than usual and according to the school thermometer had a 100 degree temperature. I picked him up and immediately took him to the doctor.

Well the doctor said that there was NO fever, no swelling or redness in the throat, no problems with the ears, no problems period. She felt that B's issues were emotional and not medically based.

The caseworkers were glad to rule that out, and said now they can have documentation that B is regressing due to the upcoming visit. His therapist is very concerned with his behavior and is scheduled to see him on Friday morning.

B is really worrying me. *sigh* He's slobbering like crazy, he's whining, he's rocking constantly, and he's just not himself.

Screw the Children

That's basically what the Division of Family and Children's lawyer decided for our kids. I mean, honestly, is there really any reason why a sibling group of three should remain together? They aren't 100% biologically related after all. *rolling my eyes here*

I am so furious right now I could scream. Actually I HAVE screamed. And I've pleaded, and I've cried, and I've done everything in my power to get the court to change it's mind.... to no avail. B is going to have to start visiting overnight with his birth father starting Friday.

I'm extremely upset. The division of family and children is upset. Everyone is upset - except the birth father and the lawyer for the dfc. He basically stabbed the caseworkers' in the back. The lawyer didn't talk to the caseworkers, he just decided upon himself that since B's father is doing the BARE MINIMUM (And asking for NOTHING extra) that he is entitled to start having him overnight in addition to his weekday visit (of two hours). And this same lawyer saw no reason why B couldn't stay overnight at the same house where a baby was murdered (while B was in the home - mind you). I can thankfully say that THAT was overturned.

So the caseworker was forced to come out to my house and deliver the news to the children. That B would have overnights and the others wouldn't get to go. The result? Well the oldest of the group went through a wide range of emotions. She first stated she didn't care, then she tried everything in her power to get us mad enough to yell at her, then she wanted to cuddle and be close to us on the couch. :( She's not sure how to handle the situation. The middle child could really care less...

But B... Poor B. Ever since being told he's had nightmares. He woke up 4 times the first night and between 4-6 times last night. (I stopped waking up and let my husband take over). B is rocking violently and is refusing to talk to us. He'll point and whisper, but honestly he just wants to rock and be held. He's honestly not himself at all.

I'm extremely worried about him. He was so excited to be going to see his daddy again, and seemed happy about visiting overnight this weekend; but his behavior is unreal right now. :( I have calls in to the social worker, to the therapist, and to the preschool director to make sure they give me feedback and suggestions to helping B deal with this.

Pray for us, I don't know how long it's going to take before my B is himself again.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Grouchy Today

I definately woke up on the wrong side of the bed. For some reason five of my children decided to wake up and run screaming through the hallway this morning! To put it nicely I was not a happy camper.

You see, my husband and I put the kids to bed about an hour or two later than normal - hoping they would sleep in a little bit. The older children don't have school today, and I was really looking forward to sleeping til at least 8 am. Of course it didn't happen.

It's almost like my kids have this internal alarm that lets them know when I need extra sleep, and that's when they decide to be at their worst. They are now laying back down in their beds while I'm up on the computer because I'm so mad at them. It's not helping though, because they are still yelling back and forth between the bedrooms.

I'm just waiting on my two oldest girls to go in there and start getting even. They are trying to sleep in and will just just as upset as I am if they get woke up.

We've just been running non-stop this week trying to adjust to having another child in our home, and we really need a little down time. Although we LOVE having C here!! It's just that the routine has been upset a little bit.

I'm sure it will all work out in the long run. I just have to drink me a diet coke, and make me some brownies and I should be feeling better. Off to let the rugrats up for the day. Wish me luck.

Thursday, March 16, 2006


I just don't understand why some things happen. Why does God allow young children and teenagers to die? What purpose does it serve? How will it work out for good?

My parents used to live next door to a little girl named Kyla. I think the first time I met Kyla she was three years old. I remember being out in the backyard in our swimming pool and seeing her walking up and down the fence staring at us, wanting us to play with her. She was such a sweet girl.

Fast forward a few years to when Jenna turns 4. Kyla is now 7. She gets permission from her parents to come over and play with my daughter. They laugh, run around the yard, and are the best of friends. For years to come these two are inseparable.

Jenna gets a little older and Kyla teaches her how to jump on the trampoline, how to ride a go cart, how to ride on her bike down to the neighbor's pond and back without getting hit by cars. She teaches Jenna how fun catching snakes and frogs can be, the importance of softball, and how to be a careful tree climber.

Because of Kyla, Jenna got to experience a lot of life's little lessons that I wouldn't have thought to teach her. I will forever be grateful for the friendship the two girls had.

But Kyla is gone now. She was 14 years old and riding in the car with her mom. She was wearing her seatbelt and the airbag was working properly. I don't know what she and her mom were talking about, but for some reason, her mom turned the corner without making sure vehicles weren't coming. A truck smacked right into Kyla's side of the car - killing her (I hope) instantly. Kyla's mother is suffering from a broken back and some serious injuries, and Kyla is no longer with us.

It's hard to imagine Kyla gone. She was so full of life. I remember just a few months ago when there was SNOW melting on the ground. You know, one of those days when you want to stay inside and read a good book? Well I was driving to my mom's house and I happened to see Kyla and her sister and parents out riding their BIKES!! Yes in the freezing cold, they were out bike riding. They lived life to the fullest, always taking advantage of the little moments to share as a family.

I'm praying that in the months and years to come, that they'll be able to look back on all those memeries and realize how special their relationship with Kyla was.

I hadn't actually seen Kyla (nor had Jenna) in two years. It was a shock to read about her death in the papers. And I'm still asking God why. Why did he allow this accident to take place? But I'm holding on to my faith that in the end it will all work out somehow.

But I sure will miss seeing Kyla growing up. Her showing is today. If I can find someone to watch my children, I'd like to go and show my support for her parents and sister. I don't think Jenna's old enough to understand though. I'd rather her remember Kyla as the girl with no fear. Who lived life to the fullest.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Hemophilia Training, Oh My!

Wow! Talk about a shock! When I was told that C was going to have to have factor transfusions from home I thought it wasn't going to be a big deal. Sure, I'd just insert the needle into the little cath sticking out of his chest and we'd all live happily ever after.

Imagine my surprise when I realized that the port (where the transfusion takes place) is actually UNDER his skin! Ack!! It's a lot more complicated than I expected. First you have to put on sterile gloves. Then you have to numb the port area with this cream has to stay on for 10-20 minutes before we can do anything else. Then we have to stick this needle into his port (HAS to go right in the middle), then you have to flush with Saline, add the factor, flush with saline again, then give something called heprine... Hmm...

Me thinks I'm in over my head!! How in the world am I supposed to remember all the steps? He'll have this port in his chest until he is about six or seven years old. Then they'll remove it and he'll have to get his transfusions through his veins.

Thankfully I have a home nurse coming out for the next two transfusions to make sure I know what I'm doing. :)

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Painting Stinks

It really does you know. Actually it was fun at first. But now it's just work. Lots and lots of work. My hands ache, my back throbs, and my head feels ready to explode. It's still worth it though!

Matt and I worked like dogs this weekend and really got a lot of work done on our house. We painted Conner's bedroom in two shades of blue, Jenna's bedroom in two shades of purple, and are getting ready to start on Macie's bedroom (two shades of red I think). Oh and did I mention that I'm painting my bedroom sage green?!?

It's interesting trying to get any painting done with a houseful of kids. So far I think we've had every child sleep in the great room at least one night! But the kids are so excited about their new bedrooms. We haven't really made any changes on their bedrooms in over eight years!

We just have to finish touching up Jenna's bedroom walls and then that room will be completely done (other than trim work that will come when we get more money.) Tonight I'm planning on priming Macie's bedroom and "possibly" putting on on the base coat of red. Doubt it though. I'm really tired.

Part of the reason I'm on this painting marathon is because I know how we are. If I put the paint away, it'll be months before we finish the bedrooms. And personally, I just think I'll feel better if I have all the rooms done as soon as possible!

Ok. Off to paint some more. Wish me luck. If I have any strength left in my hands, I'll post how it looks. :)

One Big Happy Family..Sort Of

As I'm typing this I'm listening to my two two year olds pounding on the piano together. They stop, look at each other, clap their hands, laugh, and then start playing again. They are so cute... at least right now.

Having two children seven days a part in age in a trial to put it nicely. Both children are strong willed and both have their own opinion on who had the toy first! Macie, being older and in my home longer, thinks that she gets to make all the rules. MY carseat, MY chair, MY toys. And so we have lots of pushing, yelling, smacking, and did I mention yelling? Lots of tattling, and lots of tears. But at the same time we have lots of hugs, lots of kisses, and lot of laughter!

C is adjusting as well as can be expected. He has separation anxiety big time. Any time I start to leave the room he cries out "Don't leave me mommy. Stay here with me." It breaks my heart, but I understand why he acts this way. He's been in four homes in just one week. :( Way too many for such a little kid.

I guess one of my biggest concerns with C right now is how easily he gets frustrated. He doesn't know how to drink out of a sippy cup with the stopper in it. (but when the stopper is out the milk goes EVERYWHERE). He doesn't know how to eat out of a spoon very well, and throws it acrossed the room in tears if he can't get the food onto it. He doesn't like his food touching on his plate either. I called today to have a Early Intervention worker come out and test him for fine motor delays. We'll see if they call me back!

All in all I love having C back in my home. He isn't out of control at all!! If anything he just has a strong stubborn streak! At least so far. The other kids seem to enjoy having C back as well. Only Macie has had major issues with him being here; but then again, she's been the only little one and the constant attention getter until he arrived.

I'm sure the newness will wear off, and the kids will soon be back to trying their best to ignore and escape the little ones! I'm sure C will slowly adjust to our routine and find his place in our home. Until then, I'm not sure how often I'll be able to update! It's hard to turn my back on this many children. There is no telling what kind of trouble they'll get in to while I'm staring at this machine!

Friday, March 10, 2006

Large Families Need Large Vehicles!

Our family is so excited that C is going to be joining our family today, but we realized last night that we didn't have a carseat for him. So off we go to the local Walmart to find a 5 point harness type seat. Of course we find the perfect one in our price range and have to get it!

Now back in our van, we're trying to find a place for this new carseat to go. Hmm...doesn't fit in the middle it's way too small for three carseats. Doesn't fit in the back either. Well let me take that back. It FITS, but the other kids can't buckle their booster seats with the carseat in place!!

Another problem we realized while messing with the carseat is that IF my husband is with me, we can't all fit in our vehicle! We're going to have to take two separate vehicles whenever we want to go somewhere as a family!

We realize that this is going to grow old fast, so I'm searching the internet and local car lots for a used 12 or 15 seat Passenger Van! *lol* I never in a million years thought I would be the type of parent that would need a passenger van in order to haul my family to functions!!

We began fostering with the intent to adopt ONE child, and help at the MOST two at one time... Now look at me... mommy to seven and wife to one. :) God is so good!

Thursday, March 09, 2006

He's coming home!!

Oh my gosh!! God is so good!!!! C is coming home!

I just got off the phone with my caseworker. She asked me to please come to her office asap and sign some papers to increase my license to seven children in the home. I told her I was getting ready to put M down for a nap and asked if it could wait. She said NO...that if they didn't increase my license by tomorrow that they were going to get a court order to move C tomorrow afternoon!

So of course I race to the agency to sign my name. While in the car, my DFC caseworker calls me and wants to make sure I'm not going to have my sibling group of three moved when C arrives. I inform him that nothing short of a court order from the judge would make me move ANY of my children. That I had invested almost an entire year with these kids and I wouldn't give them up for anything. He said he knew that but had to hear it from me personally.

He then went on to say that he really went to bat for me today. He said that the other caseworkers were shaking their heads at the thought of placing a medically fragile two year old into a house with six other children. But my caseworker said that out of all the families he has worked with, that he would only recommend this for ME- my family. That he knew we could handle it without losing our minds, that he has that much faith in us. I have to tell you I started crying!! (Still crying if you want to know the truth!)

So when I arrived at the agency to sign my name, the caseworker informed me that C would be arriving at my house between 1-2 pm tomorrow!!!

God is so good!! I honestly had given up hope of getting C back. I had resigned myself to the fact that God had closed that door. But I guess I was still working in MY time and not God's.

I still ask for your prayers though. It's going to be a major adjustment to add another child to this home - especially a medically needy one. Not that I don't want him!! You all know how much I care for this little boy!!! But it's going to take some work to keep him safe and supply the needs of my other children.

But oh I can't wait to have him home!! Wild child though he may be!

I Really Like Them

I really like my foster children's Great Grandparents! Actually I like them, AND their grandma, AND their aunts (the two I've met). These people really care about my foster children. You can tell that it is breaking their hearts to see them in the "system."

These people get to see my foster children every other week. And my children are so excited to get to see them! They don't just sit and watch the kids play. They go out of their way to always have a craft activity for the kids to work on while visiting. They make their time quality time and give lots of hugs and kisses. They ask questions about their lives and make sure they are being cared for in my home.

But what I really like is that they care about MY children as well! They are constantly asking why I don't allow my children to come to the visits (because it's THEIR quality time - and I didn't want to intrude) and have flat out requested that my oldest be allowed to come next time. And out of all my foster families, this is the only one I trust MY children to! They make sure to send extra craft supplies home for my kids to work on, they give them treats, and feel they are just an extension of their family. That makes me feel so good, you know? Because I treat their children like my own as well.

I really feel that if these relatives were younger that my foster children would be ok living with them. But the truth is that they are very old and that great grandpa is in very bad health. I worry about him a lot, honestly! And the aunts are wonderful people, but they don't have the room to raise the children.

Their birth parents, for some reason, just can't get their act together. The dad is more than ok with just visiting every week for a few hours, and their mom well...she's still in jail. :(

But of the relatives that I've gotten to know, I really like them. And I would have no problem with keeping them in these childrens' lives as long as they would like to be involved.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

God's Timing

You know. I'm not God. I know, I knew that already right? Well I'm just reminding you and me that I don't know everything. Everyone always says that God is never late, that everything happens for a reason, that if it's meant to be that the doors will open and it will happen.

That's all fine and dandy, especially when God works on OUR time table. But sometimes He has his own agenda. And sometimes he says No. Gosh does that hurt to swallow.

I don't know WHY the current foster family isn't just handing C over to us. I honestly don't know. But God does. But the trust and faith to know God is handling it correctly is very hard for me to handle right now. I know he has it in my heart I know that...but in my head, I'm still wanting MY answers in MY time... you understanding me?

I have to say that my heart is aching right now knowing C is not with his biological family, and also not with me. I have given C loving care for 1/3 of his entire life. Even though he's two now; I still believe that deep down in his subconscious that he remembers us. And I have to believe that if he were to come here he would know that he was safe and loved.

I'm sure his current foster family has fallen in love with him. I'm sure they feel they are doing the right thing by keeping him for themselves. I honestly don't think they are doing this out of spite. I pray to God that they aren't. But I just don't understand how they can keep him knowing that we had him for so long and are longing for him to come back...

And yes...I'm mad at my caseworker. If she had just updated my paperwork when I asked, I'd have C right now. I know I shouldn't dwell on that. I know it serves no purpose other than to bring me down and cause me to falter in my faith. And I'm praying that I can overcome this hurt.

God will never leave me nor forsake me. I know this. I know he is with me. I know he is sheltering me even now, because I DO have a peace in my soul that C is going to be ok. But I don't have the peace that I'm getting him back... just that he'll be ok. And so if you can, please pray for me still...because even though I know I can make it with God's help, I can feel your prayers at work in my life supporting us. And there can never be too many prayers for our God!

Bad News :(

Apparently I "offended" the foster family that has C. Apparently my calling them and crying on the phone and telling them that IF they couldn't handle C that I could have him once my license was increased, upset them. Since THEY are a preadoptive home as well. *rolling my eyes here*

How SICK are they? I mean come on...if you KNEW that a previous foster family had a child for nine months and that they would be ABLE to have him back in a few days once paperwork was completed, wouldn't you give him up?But this family isn't willing to do that. They are down in Indy today getting training on dealing with hemophelia, and said that IF they find they can't handle him within the next month that they'll let me know.

SO... even though all the caseworkers are ok with me having C back, even though they are rushing my paperwork licensing stuff...they aren't willing to move him until the foster family says that they can't handle him.

I'm upset, but more pissed than sad. Does that make sense? So I told my caseworker that I wasn't sure I WANTED C back in a month. That I didn't think it was fair to him to have to be moved twice after he's bonded with another care giver... that if they want me to take him, they should move him before he really attaches to them.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Keep Praying!

I heard from my caseworker today. She informed me that C's biological mother specifically asked him to be placed with us; because she is seriously considering terminating her rights for good and wants us to adopt him!!!

My caseworker talked to her supervisor who sees no problems with increasing our license and allowing C back into our home!! We will have to complete all the foster parent training and paperwork again though, in order to be licensed for seven children. The supervisor said that as long as we start the process that they can petition the court to allow us to go ahead and move him to our home!

C's mother is putting him in care because he is out of control - just like his big brother. And with the three other children that she has, she just can't handle him. Honestly it's really her parenting skills that has caused the boys to act like this, and I feel that we can straighten him out. Hopefully it won't come at our own children's expense!

Part of me wonders if I'm getting in over my head. This means I will have TWO 2 year olds (1 day apart in age), a 4, 5, 6, 9, and 10 year old!! But I've always wanted a big family and feel God won't give me more than I can handle.

And through all of this, I'm praying that God's will - not mine - be done. If it is His will that C be placed with us then He'll open the doors. If it's not His will, then I'm praying he'll give me the strength and peace to handle it.

But for now, please keep praying for us!!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Please Pray

I just found out that my first foster baby was VOLUNTARILY placed into foster care by his mother. She SPECIFICALLY asked for me to have him. And the county WOULD NOT place him with me because my license is full.

BUT my caseworker was SUPPOSED to have started the process to have my license increased, and she hadn't gotten around to it. So she is going to start the process tomorrow.She told me the ONLY way I can get him home now is if my license is increased, if the local Division of Family and Children approves his move here, and IF the current foster home is willing to not keep him.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE start praying that they don't keep him. PLEASE pray that the doors will be opened and that he will be home quickly. I can't stand the thought of knowing that he is back in foster care and not at my house!

I'm an emotional wreck and they aren't going to be able to do ANYTHING with him until Monday. HELP ME!!! I don't know if I can handle the weekend knowing some stranger is trying to raise him.

Strep Throat

Strep Throat has finally hit our family. It's been going around the kids' school for a few weeks now, and has finally found a way into our lives. We've never had strep throat before. Pink eye - yes, the flu - absolutely, lice - unfortunately. But strep throat has never made an appearance until yesterday.

The school nurse called me to say that Jenna didn't have a fever, but was complaining of a very sore throat. And upon inspection the nurse saw little blisters - but they weren't white! Still it was questionable what was causing the bumps and so I was asked to pick her up.

So off to the doctor we went. The doctor didn't think it was strep throat because the bumps weren't white, but she took a throat culture anyways. And sure enough... STREP.

We left with a perscription of medicine and stricted orders not to go around anyone for 24 hours until the meds had a chance to take effect. I thought "No problem" Jenna wasn't even acting very sickly, you know?

Fast forward a few hours and you find my VERY miserable daughter. She's bawling, her throat is full of white blisters, and she can't keep anything down. She's running a high fever and just feels awful. We've already started the meds, but they haven't had a chance to work yet... And I begin praying no one else in my family gets this nasty stuff.

Today Jenna is acting much better. You can tell the meds are doing the job, but I went ahead and kept her home from school for the day - just to be safe! Unfortunately my throat is feeling VERY scratchy, and I have a pounding headache. I have to wonder if it's psychological or if I'm getting the dreaded strep throat. *sniff* I'm praying it's all in my head. I have too many children to head to the doctor for meds.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Sometimes It's Hard Being A Mom

It really is. Like today for instance. I told my foster daughters that we were going to see their great grandpa in the nursing home after school. I also told them that we wouldn't be taking their brother because he wasn't old enough to go. (Honestly I was afraid he would be WAY too wild and not listen - and afraid he might give the old people a heart attack!)

So D, my five year old, immediately started the "I'm going to see Grandpa and YOU aren't." Just really rubbing it in. Well I immediately put a stop to it (or so I thought) by telling her she WOULD NOT go to see Grandpa if she was bragging. And she stopped.

Well apparently on the way home from school she started in again. The bus driver tried to redirect her but by the time they got home B was crying and VERY upset that he couldn't go; and I was in a pickle. I SHOULD NOT have let D go to the visit...but I had already told Great Grandma that we would be coming by. :(

So I let her go, but I was very firm with her and told her since she was being such a meanie about going that she would have to go to bed 30 minutes before the other kids. And I also told her I was going to tell Grandma how disappointed I was in how she behaved. D was really crushed but was on her best behavior once we got to the visit.

Fast forward til, oh, now. We have Gracie - my little five year old sister - spending the night with us. And I reminded D that she hadn't been good earlier and had caused her brother to be very upset, and told her it was time for bed.

This child has been crying in her room for fifteen minutes. I went back, tucked her in, and explained that I wasn't sending the other kids to bed until she was asleep for 30 minutes, and that the more she cried, the longer it would take before the others came to bed.

I feel like an ogre, but she has to realize that she can't act like that - especially on the school bus. B is still very upset that he didn't get to go on the visit, but I honestly couldn't take him with me. Even though he is 4 years old he is developmentally like a 2 year old... a TERRIBLE two year old who gets into EVERYTHING the minute to take your eyes off him.

Sometiems it's just hard being a mom - especially when we have to make the children learn of consequences.