I'm Pathetic

*hehe* It's 9:30 am and here I sit at the computer. Why? Because Toby Keith tickets go on sale here in 30 minutes!!!! And I am GOING to this concert.

Doesn't matter that we are broke. Doesn't matter that we have five birthdays in the month of October, and the concert is October 1st. I am going!!

I have three favorite country singers - Collin Raye will probably always hold my number one spot. (I just LOVE his You can't overlove your underwear song commercial...it's the first thing he's put out in YEARS!!). Trace Adkins is tied with Toby Keith for my second favorite and third singers.

Why? Because they are AWESOME!!! Their voices are so talented, their songs are catchy and stay with you. (I woke up to It's a little too late from Toby this morning in my head). And it doesn't hurt that they look pretty good in those cowboy hats!

So here I sit. It's officially 9:32 now. And i'm debating on whether to spend the $25.00 and join Toby's fan club so I can go ahead and purchase my tickets. That way I wouldn't have to sit here refreshing the ticketmaster web page every few minutes. *hehe*

Yes I'll admit it. I'm pathetic. But BOY what a concert this will be!

The Perfect Mother, Wife, and Housekeeper

I was watching tv the other night and saw the mother with 16 children. She had this beautiful house, her children were dressed, their hair was combed, not a toy was out of place, and yes - the children were actually getting along. How rare is that?

This made me take a look at my own home. I have 7 children, half are still in their pjs, the others have mismatched clothes. Most of these children are currently arguing and/or fighting over stupid toys, and screaming at me to do something about the other kids messing with them. The dishes are piled in the sink, the kitchen floor is in desperate need of being mopped, and toys are scattered in every single room of my house (including my bedroom).

But then I remind myself, she was on camera, and I'm not. I bet you anything if I knew a tv crew was going to be filming me that I would look like the perfect mother. My children would be dressed in matching clothes, not a dish would be out of place in my house, and by gosh by golly - the cobwebs would be OUT of the corners of the walls!!

Alas, that's not the case. So for now my poor children will have to make do with a stressed out mommy who sometimes manages to find matching socks for them to wear. My husband will have to tolerate a wife who is usually too tired and worn out to give him the attention he craves. My house will always be in need of dire housekeeping upkeep.

But you know what? My children will be happy (most of the time), my husband will be satisfied (most of the time), and my house will be clean enough to live in, even if it is cluttered. I'm not supermom. I never claimed to be. I'm just your every day stressed out mommy to many. Someone who knows her limits and has children too young to really help out much, but old enough to create massive amounts of clutter and issues. I'm a wife who has a loving supportive husband who tries to help out, but who thinks helping me clean out the closets and garage are ways of getting the house looking good.

And know what else? I'm happy - most of the time - with the way my life has turned out. Yes I'd love to be the perfect mother of many; but it's not going to happen in this lifetime. So I'll settle for being one who struggles but gets through each day (even as I count down the minutes until I can drop a few off at daycare!!). And I'll remind myself that God doesn't give us more than we can handle - even though sometimes I wonder about that. So I will survive. And so will my family - whether they like it or not.

Almost the big 30...

Why is it when you get to be about 30 years old your body starts to fall apart? Oh... Maybe it's just MY body. Maybe most other almost 30 year olds are in perfect health and are happy and healthy. Hmm...that's something to think about.

Of course, I've never been like most other people my age so why should I start now? I went to my eye doctor yesterday because my eyes have been driving me crazy - blurry vision, tearing up, yucky sleep in the corner of my eyes all day and night long, ect. The eye doctor says "Yep, you've got allergies all right." and handed me a perscription for allergy eye drops.

So off I go to the doctor to talk about allergies. I want the test to find out exactly what I'm allergic too, but the doctor refused to refer me unless I saw him first to discuss my allergies. I calmly explain to him how I'm constantly sneezing, blowing my nose, coughing, and just feeling icky. How certain foods (sour cream chips for one) cause me to get sores in my mouth, upset stomach, and all that stuff. He talks to me for over an hour about different symptoms I'm having and says "Yep, you've definately got allergies." He's thinking seasonal, indoor, and possibly food allergies.

Course he also made a comment about how I'm acting like the Dr Dolittle movie. You know, the woman with the Shellfish allergy? She knows it is going to upset her and cause hives, and yet she still goes ahead and eats it? Well he said that's me and my sour cream chips. I know it's going to tear me up from the inside out, and yet as long as they are in my house I'm gonna eat them. (They are just SO GOOD!!!)

And it's not fair really. I went for 27 years without a SINGLE allergy issue. For that matter I went for 27 year without hardly ANY illnesses. But the closer I get to the big 3-0, the more my body is falling apart. Is there going to be anything LEFT of me when I reach 40?

Anyways, enough of the pity party. I've got kids to deal with, a house to clean, and appointments to attend. Off to take the first four of my five allergy medications for the day. Ah the joys of growing up...

Quiz - a friend wanted this on here!

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
Omnipotent Father, (A devotional - so only two words on line 4)

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?
Gags of Giggles Dot do Dot Joke Book, Matt's bill pile, and a bunch of papers I'm supposed to go through when I get time.

3. What was the last thing you watched on TV?
America's Got Talent (we recorded it and I was catching up)

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.
10 something

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
10:29

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Too many children's voices. Lots of screaming, tattling, my husband snoring.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing
Last night. Picking up the kids from their family visit.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Kendra's Blog

9. What are you wearing?
Matt's t-shirt and my flip flops

10. Did you dream last night?
Not that I remember

11. When did you last laugh?
Yesterday reading a book

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Pictures of historic sites around my town, family pictures, smoke detector

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Not unless you count my dad's swimming pool water turning green.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
It's ok

15. What is the last film or video you saw?
Thinking, thinking... Aquamarine

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A bigger house, pay off my debt, fund an orphanage for the best care and assistance.

17. Tell me something about you that I do not know.
No matter where I am, who I'm with, or what I'm doing, I can always count on a story being played out in my head - all I have to do is tune is and I'm swept in the land of make-believe.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Change the care in the orphanages so that all children felt loved and cared for. Either that or make Hemophilia research a top priority.

19. Do you like to dance?
Not in front of people, but I do like to dance before God when the kids are asleep.

20. Comment to George Bush:
Keep up the good work. We may not agree with all the politics, but you are our leader and because of that I'll respect you and pray for you as you lead our country.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
She was - Jenna Marie

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?--
He was going to be Jacob Bradley

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes, if my family was with me.

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gate?
Good work, welcome home

25. What one book, besides the Bible, has changed your life?
The dictionary. It's taught me how to spell. :)

26. 1-2people who you would like to also do this quiz on their Blog.
MJ
Melissa

Frustrated and Shouldn't Be...

Honestly I know why this happened, I understand why they act this way, and I know it isn't going to change...but it's still frustrating as all get out!

Yesterday my sibling group of three had an all day (12 hour) visit with their great grandparents. Well this visit grandma had called me to see if I would let Jenna tag along. Apparently they were going to go swimming at her son's house, let the kids possibly ride the horses, and have a bonfire that evening.

I have to tell you, even though I love these people and trust them enough to send my daughter along, I was VERY hesitant to let her go with them for 12 hours. Not because of them, but because of M - the nine year old. She is super jealous and her and Jenna fight like sisters, just bickering back and forth and trying to 1up each other... So I tried my hardest to talk Jenna out of going on the visit, but she was so excited to be invited that I couldn't NOT let her go, know whatI mean?

So off they went with my daughter along. Fast forward 12 hours. Great grandma calls me to tell me the kids are going for ice cream and would be at the drop off location shortly. The ice cream place is less than 10 minutes from my house... An HOUR and a half later they actually show up. I was just about to call my caseworker to report them missing, thinking all KINDS of nasty senerios in my mind...

When the kids got in the car, I could hear them arguing and really nastily talking to each other. Grandma was standing outside and overheard it as well. She shook her head and asked me if they act like this all the time. And I said, yes, they fight just like sisters, and she said they about drove her batty, and that she had to leave the room for a time out once because they were at it so much.

Talk about feeling like a fool. Here my daughter did NOT show her best side at someone else's house! Well later when I got her home I found out that she did NOT have fun at all. That M wouldn't let her talk to any of the cousins, and that everytime someone would go to play with Jenna that M would run and get in front of them and start talking to the person instead...
You know, normal jealousy stuff. And I do understand that it's because they don't get to see their grandparents as much as they'd like. And I know it's the only thing that is REALLY theirs...I know this... BUT... MY daughter has to share all her toys, MY daughter has to share all her friends, MY daughter has to share all her grandparents and relatives, MY daughter has be behave...

But in hindsight I knew it was going to be like this...and I knew that I was going to be upset with the oldest foster kid. And I am. *grr* It's just so frustrating.

Oh well, the joys of foster parenting I guess.

Staying Alive!

Woohoo!!!! My parents are coming home in less than twelve hours, and then I'll be FREE!!!! *see me doing a happy dance?* I can't WAIT to get home to my own bed, my own BATHTUB, my own computer (which is much faster than this one), and my own set of children.

Today was a good day. We didn't have any major temper tantrums, and for the most part the kids minded really well. I think it also helped that I got to leave for two hours while my daughter had gymnastics, and again for another two hours when my sister had cheerleading practice. Now my husband is about ready to pull out his hair. (yes that is an evil grin you're feeling through the computer screen.)

Honestly though -all kidding aside - it hasn't been that difficult. Sure there were a few times when I wanted to pull my hair out, but it was surprisingly a lot easier than I expected it would be.

Some of the highlights?
- When Gracie (the five year old) asked me when her parents were going to be back from their field trip.
- When Conner (my six year old) was watching fireworks and said "Wow, that one went high up to Jesus."
- When C (my two year old) told me to get off the trampoline because I was going to break my neck and then I'd cry.
- Watching all the girls in this house laughing and joking about "Little Manhattan", and
"Aquamarine" movies. You can definately tell these girls are preteens.
- Seeing Macie (my two year old) overcome her fear of my parents' swimming pool.

I know there are a ton of other things, but I'm so tired that I can't think of them. Tomorrow my brother (who didn't bother coming out here and helping me ONCE while my parents were on vacation) is coming down with his family to celebrate my nephew's fifth birthday. We're having a pool party, and a cookout. As soon as it's over I'm going....HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! (WITHOUT any extra kids. Seven is enough...that is, unless I can talk Matt into letting me have a baby).

16 Children for 6 Days

What WAS I thinking? Why did I ever think that I could handle 16 children for six entire days? I mean, why couldn't someone have warned me about how stressful, trying, tiring, and hilarious this was going to turn out to be? I should have known better honestly, but silly me, I wanted my parents to have a vacation - their first one in YEARS without the kids. So here I sit on day five trying to keep myself from completely losing my sanity and ignoring the children long enough to post to my blog.

So what ages are these angels you may be asking yourselves? And just who belongs to who? Well if you've read my info, you already know that I have seven kids of my own. Which leaves nine kids for my parents. (11 if you count my brother and I, but we don't count now that we're no longer living at home.) So the age breakdown is as follows... Macie - 2, C - 2, B -4, D - 5, Gracie - 5, Conner - 6, Addie - 7, Lea - 8, Papee - 8, Maya - 9, Lexi - 9, Daisy - 9, M - 9, Cecelia - 10, Jenna - 11, and Damon - 12.

Yeah tell me about it, I'm completely crazy. It honestly hasn't been that bad. For the most part these kids have been really good. We've spent most of our days in the pool (I'm staying out here at my mom's house) or inside watching movies. I seem to spend the majority of my time on my feet in the kitchen. These kids can EAT!!!

Today was a bad day. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed - which is never a good thing, and so I was really snapping at the kids and especially at my husband (who was sitting and playing a Star Wars computer game the ENTIRE day - and all of last night! *grrrr*). Well I was attempting to change into my swimsuit and the kids just would not leave me alone! They were pounding on the door and Daisy (my mom's newest daughter from Africa) had her ear against the door. I didn't realize this. I pushed the door open and screamed for the kids to get their butts outside. And as I opened the door, it connected with Daisy's head.

Boy did she bawl. You have to realize that when Daisy gets upset she gets UPSET. She weighs 95 pounds and is taller than I am. So here's a reader's digest version of her temper tantrum... Two attempts to run away - one she managed to get a mile down the road before my husband could get to her; two attempts to climb out of her upstairs window onto the roof, one attempt to call my parents in Los Vegas (did I mention she does NOT know how to use the phone or any of the phone numbers for my parents?), one kicking screaming fit - and last but not least, one unwanted plunge into the swimming pool fully dressed (by this point my husband wanted to beat her, but settled for dunking her to get her attention instead).

And the entire two hours we were dealing with this behavior, the GOOD children were stuck sitting on the side of the pool watching us and begging to get in the water.

And YES I will be paying my parents back for this torture. Matt and I have already decided that we're taking a weekend trip somewhere. We don't even care where. We just want to be AWAY from children for a while.

Ok, I've ignored these kids WAY longer than I should have... Looking around the room at the scattered toys and the fact that NO children are nearby. *hmmmm* Off to find out what they are up too...

If you pray, please pray that I keep what little bit of my sanity I have left, and that I can manage to hold it together for another day (and night). My parents should be returning bright and early Tuesday morning...